IVF and Surrogacy

This post is especially for those who are trying to begin their family with IVF or surrogacy.

The following things should be kept in mind if you are planning your baby with either of the two, or sometimes the both.

IVF :

When the egg and sperm is given by the intended mother and father; there is no issue involved as far as spirituality is concerned, because you have the genes and the environment of your own.

When the egg is given by the intended mother and the sperm donor is not the biological father; there may be a few issues. And please understand that I’ll not talk of any medical issues unless specified. I’m a spiritual counselor, and I talk only for spirituality related matters. For other medical related issues, please consult your medical doctor.

If the state laws allow you to know the identity of the sperm donor; well and good! You must go ahead to ensure that the sperm donor is a kind of a male you would like to begin your life’s new phase with. Though the donors are tested on various medical and other grounds, I am yet to come across a sperm bank that also takes the spiritual history of a sperm donor into consideration!!!

If the donor is kept anonymous, please do not lose your heart. You can still imbibe spirituality in your child after the embryo is within the mother.

When the egg and sperm, both are from donors, again see, if you can check the spiritual credentials, if yes, go ahead. If not, you need to put in specific efforts in imbibing spirituality in your child.

The same is the case with frozen embryos.

Surrogacy:

First of all, keep this alternative the last resort. If you have literally tried everything under the sky, and have not succeeded, then only you should go for surrogacy. Surrogacy involves a lot of issues. The medical history of the surrogate mother is only one part of it; and I should say that it is only the tip of the iceberg!

Sign a proper legal and financial agreement, which I’m sure you will do. But before that

·         Meet the prospective surrogate mother an ample number of times. This would enable you to know of her background, her needs, her basic nature, spiritual orientation. If she is addicted to something—like negative though patterns, emotional outbursts etc.

·         Why is she going for this sort of an arrangement?

·         What does she expect from the baby? Would she have any emotional strings attached with the baby after the delivery of the child?

·         Her mental and emotional stability. Her ability to cope up with various changes during and after the delivery.

·         Her bond with the fetus. And many more things.

Different people talk of different things when IVF and/or Surrogacy are considered as an option. I would personally like to suggest to you that you take your own call. Consult only those who are experts in this field.  Please refrain yourself from talking to people who love talking negative, or have had a bad experience. It is going to be your child, so, ultimately it should be your decision that would count. Take your own time in deciding. Because I have noticed in quite a few cases that the couples get so impatient that they just want a baby by Hook or Crook. That is not correct, I would say. Please never ever lose your patience. Take your decision with a cool mind and with utmost care and patience.

The Stress factor:

The stress plays a big role in the above two methods of conception and delivery. Prepare yourself mentally, emotionally and financially for everything. Stress spoils all!

Please do not hesitate to ask about any trivial thing that comes to your mind before you say “yes,” because for others it may be something that is stupid or trivial; but for you, it is obviously crucial. No hurry, no shame in asking various questions that may come to your mind! Take your own time.

The couple; and specifically the mother goes through an emotional turmoil, if she is not emotionally prepared for all this. The male partner should talk to his wife or female partner providing her emotional support whenever the need be. Or if it is the way round that the male partner needs a support, the female partner should be very supportive.